Getting back to my inner world means becoming invisible online. This is to protect my mind, my mental health and my creativity. I feel a sense of relief, and maybe a little excitement. I’ve felt so trapped in the world of social media and influence. Ironically, instead of being outspoken as I usually am, I’ve become mute, because I’m so anxious of public perception, public misunderstanding and judgement. People don’t realise the depth of my empathy, and it’s become a never-ending quest to prove that I care.
People are looking for representation and validation of the injustice they feel, and it has been unfairly been put onto me to represent that constantly. People also try to use me as a guard dog, sent to call out people on their abysmal behaviour. All these things and being constantly available online have led to my burn out.
I’m not saying I’m disappearing – I’m creating an illusion, a projection of being online, but not actually being online. This allows me to be in my inner world that focuses on creation, and where I am happiest. In fact, it may seem to people that I am MORE online, because I will be creating more.
So what are the rules?
1. Does this comic make people turn INWARD or TOWARDS me?
2. NO INTERACTIONS! Post and leave.
3. 1 – 4 panels on socials. B+W.
4. Let the community create engagement.
Everything is on my terms from now on.
Now that I’ve worked out I need to be in my inner world to create, I’ve been figuring out exactly how to operate in my inner world to bring about creation of panel ideas. These will generate the illustrations to be part of the educational platform and IG. What I’ve realised is that I need to come up with environments where certain diabetes management things happen – they need to be interesting visually.
With help from reading Calvin and Hobbes, I came up with the thumbnails above. So some examples are:
-cooking/baking and having some of it to treat a hypo
– at the dinning table, changing a cartridge/insulin pump
-sitting at foot of my bed looking at photos
-McFly pulling on lead to sniff something while I try to bolus
-Rick giving me a juice box from his backpack
-Me racing around to remember everything to take on a walk
-looking at a “reminders” doormat that Rick got me
-running on the beach with Mackie having fun
-at a market bolusing while eating food having fun
-getting a big box of stuff from the chemist
-sitting at a nice cafe having a coffee
-at a gallery thinking of diabetes maths
-drawing badly because of a hypo and realising afterwards
-running out of jellybeans, but Rick’s already ordered more
-BOo! says McFly…BEEP says my insulin pump
-at the movie theatre and the pump is flashing and beeping
-hanging Christmas insulin pump things tree decorations
-watching a show only to cross it out due to diabetes joke
-running after Rick wanting to test his blood sugar
-in the night sitting on kitchen floor because of hypo
-on the phone cos of a sensor failure “I got a gooseneck!”
-hanging out with McFly doing drawing with pens and stuff
-drawing on a hill with McFly with a juice and pump nearby.
-on a bus/train changing my insulin pump
-walking in the rain with umbrella and bolusing
-me hugging McFly and him smiling
Wow. That’s a lot of ideas I just came up with. Awesome.